Dear Jan Phillip

Three years without a word to you. Nothing to do. I am so sorry I was not there when you needed me the most. No one knew how close we were, no one would have understood, you are in my cells, boy, and nothing else matters. Carpool. Brusters. I understood you, you understood me. I am sorry we couldnt talk those last few months, things might have turned out differently. The thing I hate the most in the world is the fact that we both knew that this life is the only life. we will never see each other ever again. we won't meet up in Heaven. we wont meet up in Hell. we will just sit, disintegrating, nourishing the Earth. I dont sit around and think, "At least he's in a better place," and i hate when people say that to me. life sucks, JP. you knew it. that's why you left when you did. people come and go so strangely here. i miss you, babe. I always will.