Hardly.

So, i may be getting a new rat! yes, i wish that rat could be Sam, but no, i will not feel guilty if i have to get a new rat. Andre has said that i can keep the rat at his place, since my parents will not allow me to keep a rat at home. i love rats. they are seriously the greatest pets. rats and horses. awesome, awesome.

Three years without a word to you. Nothing to do. I am so sorry I was not there when you needed me the most. No one knew how close we were, no one would have understood, you are in my cells, boy, and nothing else matters. Carpool. Brusters. I understood you, you understood me. I am sorry we couldnt talk those last few months, things might have turned out differently. The thing I hate the most in the world is the fact that we both knew that this life is the only life. we will never see each other ever again. we won't meet up in Heaven. we wont meet up in Hell. we will just sit, disintegrating, nourishing the Earth. I dont sit around and think, "At least he's in a better place," and i hate when people say that to me. life sucks, JP. you knew it. that's why you left when you did. people come and go so strangely here. i miss you, babe. I always will.

So, it was brought to my attention that, in order to get the level of US Government security clearance that I want, I will need to serve in the US military for at least four years. So, I was thinking...Navy or Air Force? So I went over to the recruiting offices for the different branches (they are in separate offices next to each other in a strip plaza thing) and the Navy and Air Force branches were closed. The only office that was open was the Marine Corps. So I went into the Marine Corps office and I asked the recruiter, "What time do the Navy and Airforce open?" The recruiter said, "WE ARE MARINES. WE DO NOT DEAL WITH OTHER BRANCHES UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. IF YOU WANT TO BE A MARINE, YOU CAN BE A MARINE. WE CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN. DO YOU WANT TO BECOME A MARINE TODAY?" And I was like, "Oh, no thanks". But I gave him my number and such anyways. If they really want me, they can have me. I just need something for four years. I would prefer it to be Air Force.